Jumat, 22 Oktober 2010

Tebak Tebakan Lucu , Teka Teki Lucu .

Sekedar iseng-iseng saya mau nulis tebak-tebakan nih. Mudah-mudahan bisa menghilangkan kepenatan dan kepusingan saya memikirkan keyword-keyword yang ga juga nongol di google, terutama keyword Belajar SEO Para Pemula yang notabene paling saya perjuangkan. Tebak-tebakan ini saya comot dari blognya sobat Yudhi, mudah2an beliau ga marah dan ngambek tebak-tebakannya saya copas.

1. Apa fungsi ekor monyet?
Untuk menghitung monyet, 1 ekor, 2 ekor, 3 ekor, 4 ekor

2. Tahu apa yang paling besar?
Tahu isi Sumedang

3. Siapa yang lebih pintar dari Einstein?
Orang yang ngilangin bom atom hingga Einstein lah penemunya

4. Pekerjaan apa yang biasanya nyari posisi tempat kering, dan selalu mundur?
Tukang ngepel

5. Apa beda gadis baik-baik (GBB) dan gadis Nakal (GN)?
GB hanya punya SATU kartu kredit dan JARANG
DIPAKAI,GN hanya punya SATU BH dan JARANG DIPAKAI

6. Dari depan yang keliatan cuma tangan kanan doang?
Petugas jalan tol

7. Binatang apa yg kakinya lima?
Anjing kencing ngobrol sama ayam

8. Mana yang lebih pandai, anjing atau monyet?
Emang elo pernah sekelas sama mereka?

9. Kalo seandainya semua orang yang kaya menjadi miskin, lalu orang
miskin jadi apa?
Jadi Heran

10. Enak mana beras import sama beras lokal?
Enak nasi, emangnya elo doyan beras?

11. Mata, hidung, telinga, mulut, badan mirip kerbau,tapi bukan kerbau. Apaan tuh?
Gambar Kerbau

12. Kenapa lambang apotik ular sama gelas?
Karena kalau gajah, gelasnya pecah

13. Kenapa kapal terbang nggak bisa mundur?
Karena kapal terbang nggak punya spion

14. Lahir di Arab, besar di Arab, tapi ngga bisa bahasa Arab?
Unta

15. Kenapa leher angsa panjang?
Karena kalau pendek namanya bebek

16. Buah apa yang tahu cuma monyet?
Mana gue tau, gue kan bukan monyet?elo kali yang tau jawabannya?

17. Binatang laut apa yang paling tua?
Udang, udah kecil, bongkok, pake?jenggot lagi

18. Kenapa Air Hujan selalu turun dari atas?
Kalo dari bawah namanya Air Mancur

19. Gajah apa yang belalainya pendek?
Gajahnya Shinchan

20. Apa bedanya monyet sekarang sama monyet jaman dahulu?
Kalau monyet sekarang bisa baca teka-teki di internet

21. Apa persamaannya batu dengan buta?
Sama-sama tidak baik untuk mata.

22. Kuman apa yang dipatuhi teman-temannya?
Kumandan upacara

23. Kenapa Amrik bisa maju?
Karena disana, anak umur 5 tahun saja sudah bisa bahasa inggris.

24. Kenapa kecantikan lebih penting bagi seorang perempuan ketimbang
kepintaran?
Sebab lelaki yang bodoh jumlahnya lebih banyak dibandingkan lelaki
yang buta.

25. Kera apa yang kalo naik ke pohon nggak mau turun, tapi kalau di
bawah nggak mau naik?
Kerasan bok!!

26. Anak apa yang paling jelek di dunia?
Anak-anak bilang sih elo!

27. Mengapa batman pakai topeng?
Kerana malu celana dalamnya keliatan.

28. barang apa yang bikin penasaran?
Jawabannya besok aja ya...

29. Mobil apa yang bikin nervous, grogi, takut, dan stress?
Mobilang cinta takut di tolak.

30. Kenapa kalau sedang bercinta maraba raba?
Karena cinta itu buta

31. Apa persamaan naik mobil dan naik motor?
Orang naik mobil, kalau lagi hujan nggak kehujanan, kalau lagi panas
nggak kepanasan.Orang naik motor, kalau lagi hujan nggak kepanasan,
kalau lagi panas nggak kehujanan.

32. Binatang apa yang nggak pernah rugi?
Laba-laba

33. Panjangnya 15 cm, kemerahan,ada kepalanya, dan membuat cewek
tergila-gila. Apa hayo?
Duit seratus ribuan

44. Dari jauh seperti tinja, dari deket seperti tinja, tapi nggak bau.
Apaan tuh?
Foto tinja

45. Kenapa burung Bangau tiap bulan November terbang ke Selatan?
Soalnya kalau disuruh jalan kejauhan

46. Apaan yang bunder item kecil, tapi kalo loe sentil loe bisa masuk
rumah sakit?
Tahi lalat Marinir

47. Apakah benar kita bakal sial kalo ketemu ama kucing hitam?
Itu tergantung?kamu itu manusia atau tikus.

48. Kenapa orang-orang pada takut kehujanan?
Karena hujan itu kalo datang beraninya keroyokan.Coba kalo turunnya
satu persatu, pasti kagak ada yg bakalan takut, kan?

49. Kenapa di dalam bajaj nggak ada nyamuk?
Karena nyamuk sini cuma takut tiga roda

50. Jam apa yang bisa dimakan?
Jambu, monyet!!!

51. Rambut putih namanya uban, rambut merah namanya pirang, kalo rambut hijau namanya apa dong?
Rambutan belum mateng

52. Daun apa yang nggak bisa dipegang?
Daun touch me!..you kNoW!!

53. Orang apa kalau dipukul gak sakit-sakit?
Orang gak kena, yeeeeeeeeee!

54. hebat mana, ayam ma sapi?
Ya Jelas ayamlah, Ayam kan bisa bikin telor mata sapi.Coba klo sapi.Apa bisa bikin telor mata ayam.

55. Apa yang luarnya mulus dalamnya amburadul?
Nenek naek mercy


Bonus Ceritanya

Beli Rokok
Ada tiga friends, satunya kura2..satu lagi kodok..terus satunya lagi uler kaki seribu.
Suatu hari kura2 mengundang dua temennya kerumahnya buat pesta kecil2an.
So...mereka bertiga bikin pesta kecil di rumah kura2. Setelah asyik ngobrol, makan, minum and lain-lain...si kodok berkata: "Eh..dari tadi kayaknya ada yang kurang ya..elu pada ngerasa gak..Oh iya kita kok gak ngerokok ya..pantesan mulut asem banget nih.."
Kura2:"iya ya..sorry gue lupa nggak nyediain rokok...kalo gitu lu beli aje deh 'Dok..warungnya deket khan..!"
Kodok:"Lho koq gue sih.. khan tuan rumahnya elu 'Ra.."
Kura2:"iya sih.. tapi khan gue jalannya lambat.. kalo elu khan bisa cepet..!!"
Kodok:"Ah.. nggak bisa gitu duonk!!..lagian kalo soal cepet..pasti si uler kaki seribu lebih cepet dari gue.. kakinya aja ada seribu!!!"
Kura2: "Oh iya ya.. Elu aja deh yang pergi..uler Kaki seribu.."
Uler K.1000: "koq jadi gue sih.."
Kodok : "Udah ..nggak apa-apa..elu aja.. buruan.."
Akhirnya si Uler K.1000 pergi juga untuk membeli rokok. Si Kodok dan Kura2 nungguin sambil ngegosipin artis-artis lokal. Lima menit menunggu...si Uler K.1000 belum dateng juga...10 menit..20 menit...satu jam...dan ternyata sampe tiga jam Uler K.1000 gak nongol2 juga.
Kodok: "Kooq Uler K.1000 nggak pulang2 ya..?"
Kura2: "Iya nih..gue jadi kuatir..kita susulin aja yuk, Dok...!"
Kodok: "ayuk deh..!"
Tapi pas si kura2 buka pintu...ternyata uler K.1000 udah ada di depan pintu.
Kura2: "Nah ni dia..!"
Kodok: "Iya nih dari tadi ditungguin juga...mana rokoknya..mulut gue udah asem banget nih..?!"
Uler K.1000: "Boro2 rokok...jalan aja belom..!!"
Kodok: " Haah belom jalan ...emangnya dari tadi ngapain aja...?"
Uler K.1000: "Yeeeeeeeee..elu nggak liat nih...gue lagi PAKE SEPATU..!!!!!"
Bos Bodoh
Ada 2 orang bos bertemu pada sebuah bar. Saat itu mereka lagi mempergunjingkan sopirnya masing-masing.
Bos 1: "Hei, kau tahu tidak, sopirku itu buoodohnya nggak ketulungan! Mau kubuktikan?
Lalu Bos 1 memanggil Ahmad, sopirnya, ke dalam bar.
Bos 1: "Ahmad! Nih uang 10 US$, belikan aku sebuah mobil sedan Mercedes"
Ahmad: "Siap bos!"
Lalu Ahmad pergi dengan membawa US$ 10 keluar dari bar tersebut.
Lalu Bos 1 berkata pada Bos 2.
Bos 1: "Nah, apa kubilang ? Benar-benar bodoh kan?"
Bos 2: "Kalau itu sih, masih belum seberapa, coba lihat sopirku ini... "
Gantian Bos 2 memanggil sopirnya, Beni, untuk menemuinya di dalam bar.
Bos 2: "Beni, coba kamu pulang ke rumah untuk cek apakah aku ada di rumah?"
Beni: "OK Bos !"
Lalu Beni pergi meninggalkan bar tersebut.
Lalu Bos 2 berkata pada Bos 1,
Bos 2: "Bagaimana?, khan idiot sekali sopirku itu?"
Di luar bar, tanpa sengaja Ahmad dan Beni bertemu, masing-masing membicarakan mengenai kebodohan bosnya masing-masing,
Ahmad: "Kau tahu betapa bodohnya bosku, dia memberiku US$ 10 untuk membeli
sebuah sedan Mercedes padahal kau khan tahu kalau sekarang hari Minggu, mana
ada showroom mobil yang buka??"
Beni: "Ah itu sih masih belum seberapa ..., kau tahu bosku di bar
barusan menyuruh aku pulang ke rumah untuk mengecek apakah dia ada di rumah
atau tidak, kok dia demikian bodohnya, masa dia nggak bisa cek sendiri pakai
HP-nya?"

Paijo malam itu pulang agak kemaleman, mana hujannya lebat banget, lampu jalan pada mati lagi. Terpaksa Paijo menjalankan mobilnya berpatokan pada mobil didepannya. Sedang asyiknya berkendaraan, tiba-tiba mobil didepannya berhenti mendadak, dan tabrakan pun tak dapat dihindari. Dengan badan basah dan muka marah si Paijo meng hampiri si pengemudi sambil pegang kerah si sopir ( wah.. boleh juga nih si Paijo )

Paijo : " Apa-apan sih lu pake berhenti mendadak
segala, lu bisa nyetir kagak ..!!!" ( suara si Paijo sok digalak-galakin )

Sopir : "Lu udah salah pake marah2 lagi. Lu tau nggak sekarang ada di mana. Lu ada di depan garasi gue!”


Ingin Lebih Klick Di Sini

Puisi Romantis , Puisi Cinta

kumpulan koleksi puisi cinta – puisi romantis – puisi mesra – puisi jatuh hati – puisi jatuh cinta – sms puisi cinta – sms puisi romantis – sms puisi mesra – puisi patah hati – puisi putus cinta – puisi buat pacar – puisi untuk kekasih – puisi indah – puisi patah hati – sms patah hati – sms putus cinta – sms buat nembak cewek – sms buat nembak cowok – puisi ungkapan cinta
=========================
hati ini trasa sunyi tanpa nafas cintamu,,
hidup ini sepi tanpa senyuman darimu
diri inisenyap tanpa jiwa kasih mu,,
ruang hatiku gelap tanpa arah tuk melangkah
cinta,,,
mengapa semua harus terjadi???
mengapa disaat terang dunia kalbuku kau berlalu
kau tinggalkan sepenggal dusta dalam rasa,,
cinta..
aku hanya mampu memeluk rasa
memeluk mimpi senja yng kelabu
meniti harapan fajar kelana,,
cinta..
kau buat aku tak yakin untuk melangkah
kau beri aku segenggam luka
mengapa cahaya pelangi menjadi api,,
selamat jalan cinta,,
selamat berbahagia di atas luka ku,,
biarkan kata merangkai hati serupa darah dibalik tirai….
to : rini novianti..
acrimariadi@yahoo.co.id
===========================
cinta bagaikan air laut yang mengisi sebagian isi bumi…
memberi banyak kehidupan..
membuat orang ingin tahu..
dan tiap orang pasti mengalami cinta..
cinta itu keikhlasan..
cinta itu kemauan..
cinta itu saling mengerti..
cinta itu indah jika kita bisa menempatkannya pada tempat terbaik dalam hati..
jadikan cinta itu indah dihatimu..
karena cinta bisa seindah yang kau mau
“Edi aku mencintaimu”
Dalam segala kurang dan lebihmu
Dalam pintaku pada-NYA terselip namamu yang selalu kurindu
i Lup U
gendut_nurbaya@yahoo.com
================================
gerimis tak merindukan danau….
hanya membuat camar termangu…
tak bisa terbang….
tak bisa menangis…
hanya dpt membasahi baju…
berapakali aku ucapkan….???
berapa kali aku harus termangu…???
berapa lama aku harus terdiam 1000 bahasa pada mu…???
cutalvia_verys@yahoo.co.id
============================
Yaa robb kirimkanlah aku bidadari surga MU untuk ku jadikan pendamping dalam hidup ku
tas_ntos@yahoo.com
=========================
BRO, IM3 Sekarang bisa TELPON GRATIS ke SEMUA OPERATOR. Caranya: Ketik NO TUJUAN tambahkan 388 Trus dibelakangnya Lampirkan SURAT KETERANGAN MISKIN dari KELURAHAN. he..he
alfan
=============================
>> suara anak anjing: “…guuwk..guwk…”
>> suara anak ayam : “..kukuuruyuuk…”
>> suara anak kucing: “ngeoong..ngeoong..”
>> suara anak monyet :
kodiemm ngomong dong nyet..!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nun-lovers@yahoo.co.id
=============================
sebelum tidur jangan lupa baca doa biar di lindungi tuhan,dan baca juga Undang Undang Dasar ‘45 biar dilindungi negara,trus jangan lupa sebelum tidur di minum baigon-nya biar terlindung dari nyamuk…..
nun-lovers@yahoo.co.id
==============================
aku harap mulai saat nie kamu haruss,
- jaga kesehatan
- istirahat yang cukup
- makan yang banyak
Aku gak mau nanti pada waktunya km,
- sakit
- kurus
- gak bertenaga
salam dari:
panitia Qurban.
nun-lovers@yahoo.co.id
=============================
malam,…aku gak bisa tidur karena terbayang terus wajahmu..!!!
pagi,…..hari terasa sepi,karena gak ada kamu..
sore…tiba-tiba langit mendung,dan hujanpun turun..ingin sekali aku berteriak memangil namamu , dan berkata
sayaaa………ank angkat tuh jemuran……..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
nun-lovers@yahoo.co.id
================================
KnP KaU bKr AiiR mTa Q yg tLah menGerinG….?
yG m’Bwt hati menjadi gelisah tanpa arti…?
dalam hidup yg q benci bukanlah yg harus q hindari….
dan yang q cintai bknlah yang harus ku tangisi…
banyak ketakutan q yang tak nyata,,,,
lalu mengapa harus bersedih….
untuk hal yang tak berguna….
APA LAGI KARENA CINTA…..???
desisweety18@yahoo.com.
======================
ntr klo lo w bonceng pake motor…
lo pegangan ya ma w…
w takut…..
w takut lo jatoh…
soalnya klo lo ampe jatoh
ntr disangka w buang sampah sembarangan>>
he,he,he…
ewak_88@yahoo.com
========================
aku beruntung telah menemui pria seperti kamu karena bagiku kamu adalah harapan hidupku nanun apalah arti semua ini beruntung tak bisa diraih malang tak bisa ditolak tapi aku yakin dengan hati sabar,ikhlas pasti semua ini akan berlalu
============================
“”fOrGive mE,i LoVe hiM,i FoNd hiM.. “hE wHo nEvEr aSk aNythiNg abOut mY dEePeSt fEeLing.. “hE wHo nEvEr tRy tO uNdErstAnd aBouT mE.. “hE wHo tAkE mY dReAms aWay.. “hE wHo aLwaYs mAke mE thiNk aBouT hiM.. AND HE IS YOU….””
=============================
“ku IngiN kau tau diRikU disini Menanti dirimU….”
===========================
“Indahnya perkenalan jika bersulamkan keikhlasan, moleknya persahabatan andai setia yang dipertaruhkan dan untungnya bercinta jika kekal selamanya”
==============================
Bintang yang terang
sinarmu sungguh indah
keindahanmu mengingatkan aku
pada seseorang…………
dimana aku sangat merindukannya
malam yang begitu sunyi……….
mengapa dia tak hadir untuk menemaniku
angin yang berhembs dengan kencang……….
Tuhan sampaikan salam ku padanya
bahwa aku sangat merindukannya
kuingin dia selalu mencintaiku
dimanapun dia melangkah
SETIAP KATAKU ADALAH KATA CINTA PADAMU
DIHATIKU HANYA ADA SATU NAMA YAITU KAMU
SETIAP LANGKAHKU HANYA UNTUKMU
AKU HIDUP UNTUK MENCINTAIMU
DAN AKU MATIPUN AKAN AKU KENANG DIRIMU
arul_sweetyriv@rocketmail.com
==========================
S-eandainya
E-ngkau
L-ebih kenal
A-kan diriku
M-aka aku
A-kan
T-ersenyum
M-anis untukmu
A-gar engkau
L-lebih tau
A-ku senantiasa
M-merindukanmu
arul_sweetyriv@rocketmail.com
========================
da bengkoang
da jambu
ngerujak yu…….
——————————-
buah semangka
buah durian
orang mau nyebutin doank
——————————-
makan somay di ujung dunia
ngapain jauh2 di sini juga da……
—————————–
http://dudung.net
=============================
seindah2nya bnga bgku tak kn ada yg bs mlebihi indahnya cintamu pdku,
secantik2nya artis bgku kmlah yg paling cantik.
dra_wanted@ymail.com
==========================
Jikahati adalah istana,
Cinta adalah singgasana,
Ketulusan ialah mahkota,
Kesetiaan ialah piala terindah
dan senyum seorang kekasih adalah tahta,
Serta kejujuran & kepercayaan adalah pusaka..!
heri_7@yahoo.co.id
=============================
Sms Pagi
Pagi Princes how are you?
Hari ini menjadi hari yang indah lagi, karena ak tau kau ada dan menjadi yang terindah bagiku…. My Love
yongki_learning@gmail.com
=========================
cinta terus berlari,
cinta terus dikejar,
cinta tak berhenti,
cinta melihat kedepan,
cinta tak menengok kebelakang,
cinta berjalan lurus,
cinta tak mengambil jalan belok,
cinta tak pernah lelah mengambil jalan,
sebab cinta melahirkan kekuatan …
abdulrofiqun@yahoo.com
==============================
kuakui kamu emang manies
luchu
cantik
ngegemesin
jujur aku suka ma kamu
tapi sayang,aku gak boleh pelihara hewan ma mama aku
alexdartinta@yahoo.co.id
============================
da seorang temenku yang naksir kamu
truzzz dia nanyak berapa umur kamu
yahhhh aku jawab
kl’ dliat dari mukanya umur 16th
dari kulitnya umur 17th
dari cra berdandan umur 18 th
dari bicaranya umur 15 th
dari sikapnya umur 17th
dari tubuhnya umur 17th
jadi kl’ semuanya di jumlah
jadinya umur…………………………………..
gila bokkkk
wahhhh prah nee
dri pda kamu penasaran lbih baik aku kasih tahuu
umur…………………………75th
alexdartinta@yahoo.co.id
=============================
knpa kamu pergi tinggalkan aku,
aku syang banget ma kamu,
entah ksalahan apa yang telah aku perbuat
akupun tak tahu harus berbuat pa lgi
pdahal,dlu aku hanya………………………..
………..
……………………………………..
……………………………………lupa menutup kandangmu;p
alexdartinta@yahoo.co.id
===============================
capailah hidup kamu seperti kura-kura (slow but sure)
sehat_man@yahoo.co.id
======================
tau kah kamu setiap mlm bayanganmu selalu hadir dlm hatiq
dan wajamu yng selalu memasuki mimpiq
bgtu pula cintamu yang selaLU tumbuh dlm hatiq
iwink
======================
hidup adalah sebuah cerita. semuanya akan datang dan semuanya juga akan pergi sesuai dengan waktu yang sudah di tentukan oleh tuhan kita.
apapun yang terjadi pada hidup kita anggaplah itu sebagai bagian dari hidup kita yang tidak boleh tidak harus terjadi.
mulyadi_17@yahoo.com
=======================
puisi islam – puisi islami – puisi jihad – puisi perjuangan – puisi pahlawan – syair islam – syair islami – syair jihad – syair perjuangan – puisi islam – puisi islami – puisi jihad – puisi perjuangan – puisi pahlawan – syair islam – syair islami – syair jihad – syair perjuangan – puisi cinta – puisi romantis – puisi mesra – syair cinta – syair romantis
====================

syair-syair jihad

Apa untuk Jihad di Sana Ada yang Mencari Jalan ?

Bagi setiap musibah ada penghibur yang meringankannya
Tapi bagi yang menimpa Islam tiada penghiburnya
Sampai semua mihrob menangis padahal ia benda mati
Bahkan seluruh mimbar merintih sedangkan ia kayu jati
Seorang `Abid yang tunduk kepada Alloh lagi penuh kekhusyu`an
Sedang air mata dari kedua pipinya bercucuran
Kini masjid-masjid telah menjadi gereja di waktu maghrib
Tidak ada di dalamnya selain lonceng dan kayu salib
Itulah musibah melupakan apa yang telah lalu
Dan tidak mungkin lupa walau waktu telah lama berlalu…
Wahai para penunggang kuda yang kurus kelelahan
Seolah ia burung penyambar dalam bidang pacuan
Wahai para penyandang pedang India yang tajam
Seolah ia bara api di kegelapan malam yang kelam
Wahai orang-orang bercengkrama di belakang sungai karena gembira
Di negerinya mereka memiliki kejayaan dan kuasa…
Apa kalian telah mengetahui berita tentang Islam sekarang
Sungguh para pengendara telah berjalan dengan berita mereka
Sungguh banyak para tokoh meminta bantuan
Sedang mereka tawanan dan terbunuh
Namun tidak bergeming satupun manusia
Kenapa saling memutus dalam Islam di antara kalian
Sedang kalian wahai hamba-hamba Alloh adalah Saudara
Apa tidak ada jiwa-jiwa besar yang memiliki cita-cita
Apa terhadap kebaikan ini ada penolong dan pembela…
Hai orang-orang yang untuk membela suatu kaum telah terpecah banyak golongan
Yang karenanya mereka diserang kekafiran dan kedurjanaan
Kemarin mereka raja-raja di istana mereka
Sekarang dalam belenggu kekafiran mereka menjadi sahaya
Andai engkau melihat mereka bingung tiada penunjuk jalan
Berbagai pakaian kehinaan mereka telah rasakan
Andai engkau lihat tangisan mereka saat diperjual-belikan
Tentu engkau terperangah dan diliputi kepedihan…
Ya Robb, bayi dan sang ibu telah dipisahkan
Sebagaimana ruh telah dijauhkan dari badan
Sang puteri yang tak pernah dilihat matahari dengan terbuka
Seolah ia berlian dan batu permata
Kini digiring si bule sebagai budak seraya dihinakan
Matanya menangis dan hati penuh keheranan
Untuk seperti ini hati luluh karena kesedihan
Andai di hati ini ada Islam dan keimanan
Apa untuk Jihad disana ada yang mencari jalan…
Sungguh surga peristirahatan telah penuh dengan hiasan
Bidadari dan para pelayan telah menengok dari kamar-kamar
Mendapatkan kebaikan ini demi Alloh mereka para pendekar
Kemudian sholawat kepada Al-Mukhtar dari Alloh semoga di limpahkan
Sepanjang angin berhembus dan berguncang dahan pepohonan…
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/6/
——————-
HANTARKAN AKU KE SANA….
Gejolak yang membuncah memenuhi dada ini…
Bersama asa yang rindu mendalam…
Dari hamba yang berlumur dosa dan kealpaan…
Berharap dapat bersua dengan-Mu…
Wahai Rabbul`alamiin…
Dengan taubat ku berharap…
Kuatkan jiwa ini mendatanginya…
Kokohkan langkah kaki ini menempuhnya…
Azzamkan niat ini dalam mencapainya…
Ikhlaskan hati ini menjalaninya…
Aku rindu…aku rindu…aku rindu…
Rindu berjumpa dengan-Mu dalam SYAHADAH…
Rindu bersua dengan-Mu dalam IMAN…
Rindu bersama-Mu dalam TAUHID…
Rindu indahnya hidup dalam naungan ridha-Mu…
Syari`at ISLAM…Daulah ISLAM…Khilafah ISLAM
Duhai Alloh yang tiada sekutu bagi-Mu…
Hantarkanlah kerinduanku ini…
Mudahkanlah…
Lapangkanlah…
Tuk raih cita-cita…
KEMULIAAN HIDUP DALAM ISLAM, ATAU
KESYAHIDAN DALAM PERJUANGAN
Aku berharap termasuk yang Kau hantarkan….
Ridhai dan kabulkanlah…
Amien ya Alloh, ya Rabbal`alamiin…
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/5/
——————

Mujahidah dari Bumi Jihad
Aku Wanita Mujahidah Sejati…
Yang tercipta dari tulang rusuk lelaki yang berjihad..
Bilakah khan datang seorang peminang menghampiriku mengajak tuk berjihad..
Kelak ku akan pergi mendampinginya di bumi Jihad..
Aku selalu siap dengan semua syarat yang diajukannya..
cinta Allah, Rasul dan Jihad Fisabilillah
Aku rela berkelana mengembara dengannya lindungi Dienullah
Ikhlas menyebarkan dakwah ke penjuru bumi Allah
Tak mungkin ku pilih dirimu.. .bila dunia lebih kau damba…
Terlupa kampung halaman, sanak saudara bahkan harta yang terpendam..
Hidup terasing apa adanya.. asalkan di akhirat bahagia…
Bila aku setuju dan kaupun tidak meragukanku…
Bulat tekadku untuk menemanimu…
Aku Wanita mujahidah pilihan…
Yang mengalir di nadiku darah lelaki yang berjihad…
Bilakah khan datang menghampiriku seorang peminang yang penuh ketawadhu`an…
Kelak bersamanya kuarungi bahtera lautan jihad…
Andai tak siap bisa kau pilih…
Agar kelak batin, jiwa dan ragamu tak terusik,
terbebani dengan segala kemanjaanku, kegundahanku, kegelisahanku…
terlebih keluh kesahku…
Tak mungkin aku memilihmu…
bila yang fana lebih kau cinta…
Lupa akan kemilau dunia dan remangnya lampu kota…
lezatnya makanan dan lajunya makar durjana…
Sebab meninggalkan dakwah karena lebih mencintaimu…
dan menanggalkan pakaian taqwaku karena laranganmu…
Meniti jalan panjang di medan jihad…
Yang ada hanya darah dan airmata tertumpah…
serta debu yang beterbangan,
keringat luka dan kesyahidan pun terulang…
Jika masih ada ragu tertancap dihatimu…
Teguhkan `azzam`ku tuk lupa akan dirimu…
Aku wanita dari bumi Jihad…
Dengan sekeranjang semangat berangkat ke padang jihad…
Persiapkan bekal diri menanti pendamping hati, pelepas lelah serta kejenuhan…
tepiskan semua mimpi yang tak berarti…
Adakah yang siap mendamaikan Hati ??
Karena tak mungkin kulanjutkan perjalanan ini sendiri…
tanpa peneguh langkah kaki.. pendamping perjuangan…
Yang melepasku dengan selaksa do`a…
meraih syahid… tujuan utama…
Robbi… terdengar panggilanMu tuk meniti jalan ridhoMu…
Kuharapkan penolong dari hambaMu… menemani perjalanan ini…
by marwan hadid
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/7/
———————-

Prince of Jihad
Aku
Apa gerangan yang dilakukan musuh pada diriku
Aku, sungguh surgaku ada di hatiku
Dan taman-taman yang indah ada di dadaku
Ia selalu terus ada tetap bersamaku
Dan selalu ikut kemana saja kepergianku
Tak seorangpun bisa merampasnya dariku
Aku, andai mereka sampai membunuhku
Maka itulah waktu khalwat bersama Tuhanku
Dan jika mereka berani membunuhku
Sungguh, itulah bentuk kesyahidan bagiku
Dan merekapun akan segera menyusul kepergianku
Dan jikalau mereka dari negeri ini mengugusurku
Maka ku anggap itulah bentuk wisataku
Aku adalah aku yang mengerti benar jalan hidupku
Aku takkan pernah peduli dengan orang yang mencelaku
Selagi Allah tetap ridha dan mencintaiku
Aku tahu bahwa thaghut tidak menyukaiku
Tapi itu tidak masalah selama aku ada di jalan Tuhanku
Dan mana mungkin syaitan menyukai ajaran Nabiku
Tauhid akan kujunjung di atas kepalaku
Dan Pancasila syirik kan ku injak dengan kakiku
Hukum ilahiy ku angkat tinggi dengan tanganku
Dan undang-undang kafir kan ku tebas dengan pedangku
Enyahlah hai hamba thaghut, kalian adalah musuh abadiku
Dan aku adalah musuhmu sepanjang hidupku
Bila kalian ragu dengan ajaran tauhidku
Dan merasa benar dengan ajaran musuh Tuhanku
Mari kita mati bersama !  kamu dan aku..
by prince of jihad
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/15/
—————-

ya mujahid
ya mujahid ……
sungguh apabila maut berjumpa dengan engkau
akan lari pucat pasi dan mencari jalan untk kembali
sambil melarikan diri kmatian takut dengan engkau
ya mujahid……
engkau selalu mencintainya dimanapun engkau berada
tiadalah engkau berlambat lambat darinya ataupun maju mendahuluimu
maka engkau dapati celaan dalam mencintainya amatlah nikmat
terasa senang mengingtnya maka biarkan celaan mencela engkau
ya mujahid……
engkau tegak berdiri dan tak ada keraguan dalam kematian bagi orang yg tegak berdiri
seolah olah engkau berada dipelupuk sang maut yg tengah tertidur
lewat padamu para perwira yg tengah luka dan cedera sementara wajahmu tetap putih berseri;
mulutmu tetap tersungging senyum
ya mujahid……
adakah raja itu memiliki daging di atas meja hidangan
apabila pedang-pedangmu masih kehausan dah burung burung masih kelaparan
sampai aku kembali pena penaku mengatakan padaku
kemulian itu milik pedang bukan milik pena
ya mujahid……
andai aku masih diberi umur , akan kujadikan perang sebagai ibu
tombak sebagai saudara dan pedang sebagai bapak
dengan rambut kusut masai terseyum meyongsong kematian
hingga seolah-olah ia mempunyai keinginan dalam kematian nya
berjalan cepat,, cepat,,jangan sampai terlambat
hingga hampir hampir ringkikan kuda melemparku dari pelananya
lantaran gembira dan melonjak-lonjak menyongsong perang
ya mujahid……
semoga allah merihoimu semoga allah merahmatimu
hingga dalam seyummu yg indah
engkau ingin mengatakan pada kami
aku sudah menepati janjiku aku sudah menjual diriku
maka kapan giliranmu wahai saudara maka kapan giliranmu wahai saudara??
by daud
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/27/
——————

ZIONIST ? SALIBIS ? OUT !!
Belum kering tetesan darah saudaraku yang tumpah,
karena ulah tangan kotor anda
Belum berhenti tangis adikku ditinggal ibu tercinta,
Karena keconkakan tangan najis anda
Belum habis kepulan debu rumahku terhantam hancur,
Karena buldoser laknat milik anda
Belum reda teriakan takbir ayahku mempertahankan Izzatul Islamnya,
Karena paksaan dan propaganda dusta anda
Kami berjanji……..
Tidur anda tidak akan pernah nyenyak
Makan anda tidak akan pernah nikmat
Tiap tarikan nafas anda tidak akan pernah lega
Meski ruh-ruh kami menguap ke angkasa
Semangat jihad kami senantiasa mengganda
Menjadi syaithon pengganggu ketenangan anda
Hai…anda dajjal berwajah bush….dajjal berwajah blair….
Dajjal berseragam tentara sekutu…
Kami katakan…..
Anda tidak akan pernah merasakan kemenangan,
Anda akan menelan kehinaan dunia dan keburukan akhirat
Mengekor, menjadi bayang hitam setiap waktu
Hingga ALLOHU TA`ALA menurunkan azab pada anda dan teman-teman anda!!!
Ummu Faris
Muharram 1427 H
——————-
Izinkan Aku Bercerita Tentangmu…!!!
Jangan pernah lelah wahai Mujahidku
Karena ku kan senantiasa dibelakangmu untuk mendukungmu
Jangan kau tengok ke belakang, lihatlah kedepan
Didepan ada musuhmu, musuh Tuhan kita
Jadikan mereka terhina dengan kekuatanmu
Janganlah ragu untuk melepaskan peluru dari selongsong senapanmu
Bidiklah tepat dijantungnya
Jadikan ia mati sia-sia, tak memberi kemenangan bagi sekutunya
Maju terus jangan pernah menyerah
Lepaskanlah duniamu
Karena sungguh dunia ini hina
Sesungguhnya disisi Tuhan kitalah sebenar-benarnya kebahagiaan
Ingatlah isteri-isteri akhiratmu menunggumu dengan penuh cinta
Mereka senantiasa mendendangkan syair kerinduan
Hanya untukmu, hanya untukmu
Disaat kau pulang dengan membawa kemenangan
Maka janganlah kau merasa puas hingga Allah memenangkan agama ini atau kau menemui syahid dimedan itu
Dua pilihan yang menguntungkan, bukan?
Siapakah yang tidak suka dengan perniagaan demikian?
Sungguh merugi bagi orang yang membeli kehidupan dunia dengan kehidupan akhirat
Bukankah kau tidak demikian?
Kau sering bercerita kepadaku tentang indahnya syurga
Dengan berbagai kenikmatan didalamnya
Dan akupun mendengarkan dengan seksama
Betapa indahnya jika kita termasuk penghuni didalamnya
Menuai keridhaan-Nya selamanya
Wahai Mujahidku…aku sering melihatmu bercucuran air mata
Dan seketika itu kau tersungkur bersujud
Memanjatkan sebuah do’a
Aku tak bisa mendengarnya karena suaramu tertahan oleh gejolak didadamu
Namun ku tau
Itu adalah gemuruh kerinduanmu padanNya
dan kau memohon untuk bisa membela saudara-saudaramu dari para Thagut kaum kuffar
mengembalikan izzah mereka
wahai Kekasihku…ku kan senantiasa berdoa untuk mu agar harapanmu terpenuhi
untuk bisa kembali ke medan pertempuran itu
sungguh aku ridha jika harus dua kali atau bahkan berulang kali ditinggal olehmu
meski kerinduanku belumlah pupus
meski sajadahku belumlah kering karena banyaknya air mata kerinduan mengharap hadirmu disisiku
meski hari-hariku kan kembali sepi oleh canda dan petuahmu
meski kau tak lagi mengimamiku shalat
meski kau tak akan menyakasikan kehadiran Mujahid kecilmu menghirup udara kehidupan
aku ridha, sungguh aku ridha
asalkan Rabb kita memperkenankan kita bersua dan berkumpul di JannahNya
untuk selamanya
Jika kita tak berjumpa kembali
Maka kan ku semai cintamu disyurga
Dalam istana takwa
senyumku mengembang jika ku membayangkannya (syurga)
namun ku tak bisa menyembunyikan rasa cemburuku pada bidadari bermata jeli
yang akan membagi kasihmu dengan ku
kecantikan mereka tiada tandingan
meski kau selalu menyanjungku tiap pagi dan malam hari
namun seperti yang kau tau aku adalah wanita pecemburu
jiaka rasa itu menyerang maka aku kan mengingat kata-katamu
“kecantikan bidadari memang tiada duanya namun wanita dunia lebih mulia dan tiada tandingannya karena mereka bersusah payah beribadah sewaktu didunia”
Dan seketika itu pula hatiku riang
Ahhh..kau selalu mengerti bagaimana caranya membuatku senang
Wahai pujaanku….tiada berita yang lebih kusukai selain berita tentang kesyahidanmu
Oleh karena itu janganlah berhenti untuk mengharap syahadah pada-Nya
Mudah-mudahan Allah melapangkan jalanmu menujuNya
Kau ingat bukan Rabb kita telah berfirman
“Barang siapa menolong agamanya maka dia akan menolongnya pula”
Yakinlah itu
Wahai kekasih hati….jangan pernah ragu untuk meninggalkanku kembali
Jangan fikirkan aku
Karena ku kan baik-baik saja
Ku kan setangguh isteri Handzalah
yang merelakan malam pengantinya untuk memenuhi seruan-Nya
Kan kutopang hidupku tanpamu
Karena kini ku telah terbiasa
Kau yang mengajarkannya padaku, bukan?
Bukankah kita telah berkomitmen dari awal perjumpaan
dan saat ijab Kabul diucapkan
untuk mendirikan bangunan kasih kita diatas jalanNya
hingga syahid menjemput?
Kita tau perjumpaan didunia adalah sementara
Karenanya kita memohon perjumpaan yang kekal
Hingga kau dan aku tak terpisahkan lagi oleh ruang dan waktu
Allaahumma Amiin
Salam rinduku untuk mu selalu
‘Aisyah-mu
azfa syahiidah
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/95/
—————————

Ini darah kami, mana darah anda??
Di sini kami mencari kematian, kemenangan hanya di sisi ALLOH. Saat anda tertidur dalam kehangatan selimut daging-daging manusia Bosnia, dalam kesejukan atap-atap runtuh Chechnya, dalam kelembutan kehormatan wanita Afgan, dalam mimpi indah daratan Palestina, dalam buaian dongeng rakyat Irak.
Kami merayap mencari mati. Kami tidak ingin tidur. Kami takut dengan kesenangan dunia, kami takut seperti anda, kelak menjadi tamak. Tamak pada kesenangan semu, tamak pada kesombongan, tamak pada kebohongan. Kami haus darah. Darah anda, teriakan kesakitan anda, kekalahan anda, kerugian anda dan ketakutan anda; semua itu menjadi penghibur kami, penghibur kesepian kami, pengisi waktu kami.
Sebelum kami berjumpa dengan Robb kami, dengan membawa bendera kemenangan.
Kami yakin Rabb kami penuhi janji, kami yakin Al Qur`an benar adanya, kami yakin sabda Rasululloh, kami yakin Islam akan selalu berkibar dan menyebar serta menjadi yang terbenar.
Setiap tetes darah kami di sini, adalah janji syurga dan kemenangan akhirat semakin mendekat. Setiap peluh keringat kami di sini, adalah yakin membersihkan tanah Islam yang telah ternajisi tapak-tapak kaki anda. Pekikan kami adalah lagu-lagu suci, pengagung yang Teragung.
Takbeeer!!!
24 Rabi`uts Tsani 1427 H
umminya faris
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/99/
———————–

Ajarilah aku wahai Syahid!
Ajarilah aku wahai Syahid:
Ajarilah aku, bagaimana bisa mati Syahid
Ajari aku agar bias mati terpuji
Ajari aku, bagaimana aku harus patuh kepada Rabb-ku,
Meninggalkan dunia, nun jauh di sana
Ajari aku, bagaimana meninggalkan keluarga-ku
Dalam keadaan teguh dan sabar, seperti gunung yang kokoh
Ajari aku, bagaimana meninggalkan anak-anak ku
Dengan menunduk dan menata hidup baru
Kupasrahkan orang-orang yang ku cintai, kepada yang Maha Penyayang
Tidak ada yang menyantuni ayah ku, selain yang Maha Penyayang
Demi Rabb-mu, ajari dan katakan pada ku
Apakah kamu tidak pernah menginginkan kehidupan?
Beritahu aku kabar gembira itu, wahai kekasihku
Nikmat apa yang kau lihat pada orang yang mati Syahid?
Wajah mu adalah cahaya yang tidak menjemukkan pemandangnya,
Kata-katamu adalah kebenaran, dan telah ada buktinya
Diam mu adalah berpikir, kau tidak suka banyak bicara
Urusan mu adalah serius, dan jauh dari senda gurau
Bangunlah saudara ku, bulatkan tekad mu
Setelah itu, engkau tidak akan takut lagi!

sumber asli situs http://www.tawhed.ws atau buku “Darah Syuhada”

ALLAHU’AKBAR,,!!!
by Teguh
http://www.arrahmah.com/forum/viewthread/105/
————————–
Syair nya Orang-Orang Kuat
Bangun dan tinggalkanlah tidur panjang …
Sungguh Islam telah kembali …
Di jalan Alloh kita telah berjalan dan mengumandangkan jihad …
Kelompok orang mukmin telah bangkit …
Dengan para pemuda yang jujur …
Dalam malam-malam nestapa mereka berjalan …
Di belakang Al Qur’an yang nyata …
Mereka tidak peduli dengan berbagai kesusahan di antara taring-taring zaman …
Bangun dan tinggalkanlah tidur panjang …
Sungguh Islam telah kembali …
Di jalan Alloh kita telah berjalan dan mengumumkan jihad …
Sampaikanlah kabar gembira kepada manusia …
Dengan subuh yang terbit dengan terang …
Wahai malam-malam para pendholim …
Wahai kehinaan orang-orang yang bermain …
Wahai kesia-siaan selama bertahun-tahun …
Telah datang janji yang nyata …
Kami telah datang kepada kalian dengan membawa senapan dan qur’an yang nyata
http://ansharulhaq.blogspot.com/2007/06/syair-nya-orang-orang-kuat.html
======
puisi islam – puisi islami – puisi jihad – puisi perjuangan – puisi pahlawan – syair islam – syair islami – syair jihad – syair perjuangan -
=========================
kumpulan koleksi puisi cinta – puisi romantis – puisi mesra – puisi jatuh hati – puisi jatuh cinta – sms puisi cinta – sms puisi romantis – sms puisi mesra – puisi patah hati – puisi putus cinta – puisi buat pacar – puisi untuk kekasih – puisi indah – puisi patah hati – sms patah hati – sms putus cinta – sms buat nembak cewek – sms buat nembak cowok – puisi ungkapan cinta

MR. Bean

Mr. Bean

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Mr. Bean
Mr. bean title card.jpg
Format Visual Humour/Physical comedy
Created by Rowan Atkinson
Richard Curtis
Starring Rowan Atkinson
Country of origin United Kingdom
No. of episodes 14 (List of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s) Peter Bennett-Jones
Producer(s) Sue Vertue
Running time 24 minutes [1]
Broadcast
Original channel ITV
Picture format 4:3
Original run 1 January 1990 (1990-01-01) – 15 November 1995 (1995-11-15)
Status Ended
Chronology
Followed by Bean
Related shows Mr. Bean (animated TV series)
External links
= Official website
Mr. Bean is a British comedy television series of 14 half-hour episodes starring Rowan Atkinson as the title character. Different episodes were written by Rowan Atkinson, Robin Driscoll, Richard Curtis and one by Ben Elton. The first episode was broadcast on ITV on 1 January 1990,[2] with the final episode, "Hair by Mr. Bean of London", on 15 November 1995.
Based on a character developed by Rowan Atkinson at university, the series followed the exploits of Mr. Bean, described by Atkinson as "a child in a grown man's body",[3] in solving various problems presented by everyday tasks and often causing disruption in the process.
During its five-year run the series gained large UK audience figures, including 18.74 million for the 1992 episode "The Trouble With Mr. Bean".[4] The series has been the recipient of a number of international awards, including Rose d'Or. The show has been sold in 200 territories worldwide, and has inspired two feature films and an animated cartoon spin-off.[5]

[edit] Origins and influences

The character of Mr. Bean was developed while Atkinson was studying for his MSc at Oxford University. A sketch featuring the character was performed at the Edinburgh Fringe in the early 1980s.[6] A similar character called Robert Box, played by Atkinson, appeared in the one-off 1979 ITV sitcom Canned Laughter, which also featured routines used in the 1997 film Bean.[7] In 1987, one of Mr. Bean's earliest appearances occurred at the "Just For Laughs" comedy festival in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. When programme co-ordinators were scheduling Atkinson into the festival program, Atkinson insisted that he perform on the French-speaking bill rather than the English-speaking program. Having no French dialogue in his act at all, program co-ordinators could not understand why Atkinson wanted to perform on the French bill. As it turned out, Atkinson's act at the festival was a test platform for the Mr. Bean character and Atkinson wanted to see how the silent character's physical comedy would fare on an international stage with a non-English speaking audience.[8]
The name of the character was not decided until after the first programme had been produced, with a number of other vegetable-influenced names, such as "Mr. Cauliflower", being explored.[9] Atkinson cited the earlier comedy character Monsieur Hulot, created by French comedian and director Jacques Tati, as an influence on the character.[10] Stylistically, Mr. Bean is also very similar to early silent films, relying purely upon physical comedy, with Mr. Bean speaking very little dialogue (although like other live-action TV series of the time, it features a laugh track). This has allowed the series to be sold worldwide without any significant changes to dialogue.[8][11]

[edit] Characters and recurring props

[edit] Mr. Bean

The title character, played by Rowan Atkinson, is a slow-witted yet likeable buffoon who brings various unusual schemes and contrivances to everyday tasks. He lives alone in his small flat in Highbury, North London, and is almost always seen in his trademark tweed jacket and a skinny red tie. He also usually wears a digital calculator watch (which he does not like to lose). Mr. Bean rarely speaks, and when he does, it is generally only a few mumbled words which are in a comically low-pitched voice. His first name (he names himself "Bean" to others) and profession, if any, are never mentioned. In the first film adaptation, "Mr." appears on his passport in the "first name" field, and he is shown employed as a guard at London's National Gallery.[12] In Mr. Bean's Holiday, however, his name is listed on his passport as "Rowan".[13]
Mr. Bean often seems unaware of basic aspects of the way the world works, and the programme usually features his attempts at what would normally be considered simple tasks, such as going swimming, using a television set, redecorating or going to church. The humour largely comes from his original (and often absurd) solutions to problems and his total disregard for others when solving them, his pettiness, and occasional malevolence.
At the beginning of episode two onwards, Mr. Bean falls from the sky in a beam of light, accompanied by a choir singing Ecce homo qui est faba ("Behold the man who is a bean"). These opening sequences were initially in black and white in episodes 2 and 3, and were intended by the producers to show his status as an "ordinary man cast into the spotlight". However, later episodes showed Mr. Bean dropping from the night sky in a deserted London street, against the backdrop of St. Paul's Cathedral suggesting Bean is an alien. At the end of episodes 3 and 6 he is also shown being sucked right back up into the sky in the respective background scenes (black scene in episode 3 and street scene in episode 6). Atkinson himself has acknowledged that Bean "has a slightly alien aspect to him";[14] in the animated series, he was actually shown to be an extraterrestrial.

[edit] Teddy

Bean and Teddy
Teddy is Mr. Bean's teddy bear, perhaps Mr. Bean's best friend. The bear is a dark brown, knitted oddity with button eyes and sausage-shaped limbs, invariably ending up broken in half or in various other states of destruction and disfiguration. Although Teddy is inanimate, Mr. Bean often pretends it is alive. For example, when Mr. Bean hypnotizes Teddy, he snaps his fingers and the bear's head falls backwards as if it has fallen asleep instantly (Bean used his finger to prop Teddy's head up). Mr. Bean behaves as if the bear is real, buying it a Christmas present or trying not to wake it in the mornings. The bear is often privy to Mr. Bean's various schemes and doubles as a dish cloth or paint brush in an emergency; it has been decapitated ("Mr. Bean in Room 426") and shrunk in the wash ("Tee Off, Mr. Bean"). Teddy is also Mr. Bean's "pet" in "Hair by Mr. Bean of London" and is used to win a pet show. The Teddy that was used in filming sits in the windshield of the replica of Mr. Bean's mini that is on display at the National Motor Museum.

[edit] Car

Rowan Atkinson demonstrating a famous scene from the Mr. Bean series on a Mini at Goodwood Circuit in 2009
Mr. Bean's car, a British Leyland Mini 1000, developed a character of sorts over the series and was central to several antics, such as Mr. Bean getting dressed in it, driving while sitting in an armchair strapped to the roof or attempting to avoid a parking garage toll by driving out through the entrance.
At first, an orange 1969 BMC Mini MK II (registration RNT 996H) was Mr. Bean's vehicle, but this was destroyed in an off-screen crash at the end of the first episode. From then on, the car was a 1977 model (registration SLW 287R), "Applejack" green with a matt black bonnet. It made its first appearance in "The Curse of Mr. Bean".
The Mini also had a number of innovative security measures, for example Bean uses a bolt-latch and padlock, rather than the lock fitted to the car, and removes the steering wheel instead of the key. These formed a running joke in several episodes, at one point deterring a car thief. The car, confused with another demonstration car of the exact same model and colours (but no padlock) (registration ACW 497V), was crushed by a tank in "Back to School, Mr. Bean", but returned in later episodes, perhaps having actually been the identical demonstration car from that point on.
Mr. Bean has a long-running, yet unexplained feud with the unseen driver of a light blue Reliant Regal Supervan III (registration GRA 26K), which will usually get turned over, crashed out of its parking space and so forth. This conflict originated in the first episode, when the Reliant's driver held the Mini up on the way to a mathematics exam, and subsequently became a running joke throughout the series.
Both the Mini and the Reliant re-appeared as characters in the animated Mr. Bean cartoons, and in the film Mr. Bean's Holiday, yet another Mini appears – a lighter yellow/green than the original with a black sunroof, registration YGL 572T. Also seen is a left hand drive version of his Mini, owned by the character Sabine which has a French registration. A sequence involving the Mini driving through Harrod's was shot for the 1997 film, but ultimately was not included in the final cut.[15]
After filming ended, the present Mini used in filming was sold to Kariker Kars to be hired for various events. It was then temporarily displayed as a major attraction at the Rover groups museum. In 1997, it was purchased by the Cars of the Stars Motor Museum where it is still on display today.[16]

[edit] Irma Gobb

Mr. Bean's "girlfriend", Irma Gobb, played by Matilda Ziegler, appeared in a number of episodes. She is treated relatively inconsiderately by Bean, who appears to regard her more as a friend and companion than a love interest. However, he does become jealous when she dances with another man at a disco in "Mr. Bean Goes to Town", and she certainly expects him to propose to her on Christmas Day in "Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean", with his failure to do so resulting in her leaving him for good (she does not appear in any subsequent episodes). The character later appeared in the animated series. The spin-off book Mr. Bean's Diary (1993) states that Mr. Bean met Irma Gobb at a local library.[17]

[edit] Other characters

Although Mr. Bean is the only significant human character in the programme, other characters appear, usually as foils for his various antics. Other than his girlfriend, Mr. Bean's only friends appear to be Hubert and Rupert, who appear as Bean's New Year's party guests in the episode "Do-It-Yourself, Mr. Bean" (although they altered his living room clock and fled to the party in the flat opposite, gaining real friends in the process) and Robin Driscoll appears in many episodes as various characters. However, several notable British actors and comedians appear alongside Atkinson in sketches as various one-off supporting characters, including Richard Briers, Angus Deayton, Nick Hancock, Paul Bown, Caroline Quentin, Danny La Rue, Roger Lloyd Pack, David Schneider and Richard Wilson.[18]

[edit] Production and broadcast

The programme was produced by Tiger Television, later renamed Tiger Aspect, for Thames Television from 1990 to 1992 and then for Central from 1993 to 1995. Rather than being shown as a series, each episode of Mr. Bean was produced individually, and broadcast at intermittent intervals on the ITV network in the United Kingdom across six years, often around New Year. The episode "Hair by Mr. Bean of London" has not been broadcast on ITV, but was instead reserved for video release. After its original run it has been shown repeatedly on PBS and satellite channels such as Telemundo in the US, the CBC in Canada, Nickelodeon, Comedy Central Extra and ITV3 in the UK, Disney Channel in Asia, and internationally.[19] Digital channel ITV3 began rebroadcasting the series on 5 January 2010, and again on 24 May 2010.
The record selling UK videos were withdrawn shortly before the release of the Bean film and DVDs were released on an annual basis as of 2004.

[edit] Episode guide

[edit] Music

Mr. Bean features a choral theme tune written by Howard Goodall and performed by the Choir of Southwark Cathedral (later Christ Church Cathedral, Oxford). The words sung during the title sequences are in Latin:
  • Ecce homo qui est faba – "Behold the man who is a bean" (sung at beginning)
  • Finis partis primae – "End of part one" (sung before the advertisement break)
  • Pars secunda – "Part two" (sung after the advertisement break)
  • Vale homo qui est faba – "Farewell, man who is a bean" (sung at end)
The theme was later released on Goodall's album Choral Works. Goodall also wrote an accompanying music track for many episodes. The first episode of Mr. Bean did not feature the choral theme tune, but instead an up-beat instrumental piece, also composed by Howard Goodall, which was more an incidental tune than a theme. It was used while Bean drove between locations intimidating the blue Reliant, and as such, was sometimes heard in later episodes whenever Bean's nemesis is seen.
In the episode "Tee Off, Mr. Bean" Howard Goodall's choral theme tune for another Richard Curtis comedy, The Vicar of Dibley, is heard playing on a car stereo. In Merry Christmas, Mr. Bean., while playing with Queen's Royal Guards figurines and the nativity set, he hums "The British Grenadiers", which was quoted in the theme to Blackadder Goes Forth.[20]
Mr. Bean appears in a music video made for the 1991 Comic Relief fund raising single by Hale and Pace called The Stonk.[21] Mr. Bean also appeared in the music video for Boyzone's single Picture Of You in 1997.[22] The song featured on the soundtrack to the first Bean movie.
Mr Bean also made a Comic relief record in 1992. This was (I want to be) Elected and was credited to "Mr Bean and Smear Campaign featuring Bruce Dickinson". This was a cover of an Alice Cooper song and reached number 9 in the UK singles chart.[23]

[edit] Awards

The first episode won the Golden Rose, as well as two other major prizes at the 1991 Rose d'Or Light Entertainment Festival in Montreux.[24] In the UK, the episode "The Curse of Mr. Bean" was nominated for a number of BAFTA awards; "Best Light Entertainment Programme" in 1991, "Best Comedy" (Programme or Series) in 1992, and Atkinson was nominated three times for "Best Light Entertainment Performance" in 1991, 1992 and 1994.[25]

[edit] Spin-offs

[edit] Bean movie adaptations

[edit] Bean

In 1997, Bean, a film version directed by Mel Smith, also known as Bean: The Ultimate Disaster Movie, was produced. This broke from the programme's tradition by using a subplot with more developed characters — instead of being the sole centre of attention, Mr. Bean here interacted with a suburban Californian family he stayed with while overseeing the transfer of Whistler's Mother to a Los Angeles art gallery. The film grossed over USD$250 million globally on a budget estimated at $22 million.[26]

[edit] Mr. Bean's Holiday

News broke in March 2005 that a second Bean film, Mr. Bean's Holiday was in development, with Atkinson returning in the title role. The film had been through several changes of name during its development, including Bean 2 and French Bean.[27] Filming began on 15 May 2006 and began post-production in October 2006. It was released in the UK on 30 March 2007. On 17 July 2007, the North American premiere was held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, at the Just For Laughs festival; the launching pad for the Mr. Bean character 20 years earlier.[8] The film was then released nation-wide in North America on 24 August 2007.
The film followed the character on an eventful journey across France for a holiday in the French Riviera, which after a number of misfortunes culminates in an unscheduled screening of his video diary at the Cannes Film Festival. It was directed by Steve Bendelack and, according to Atkinson, is probably the last appearance of the character.[28]

[edit] The animated series

Mr. Bean in the animation along with his girlfriend, Irma Gobb, and landlady Mrs. Wicket
Mr. Bean was revived in a 2002 animated cartoon series, featuring little dialogue, with most being either little soundbites or mumbling. The series, which consist of 26 episodes (with 2 segments each), expanded the number of additional characters, featuring Mr. Bean's unpleasant landlady, Mrs. Wicket and her evil one-eyed cat, Scrapper. Rowan Atkinson provided the voice for Bean, and all of the animated Bean actions are taken from Atkinson himself. Other characters' voices are provided by Jon Glover, Rupert Degas, Gary Martin and Lorelei King.[29]

[edit] Books

Two books were released related to the original series: Mr. Bean's Diary in 1992 and Mr. Bean's Pocket Diary in 1994. The two books have identical content and differ only in the format in which they are printed. The content of both is a template diary with handwritten content scrawled in by Mr. Bean. They provide some additional information on the setting: for example, they establish that Mr. Bean lives in Highbury and rents his flat from a landlady named Mrs. Wicket. They confirm the name of Mr. Bean's girlfriend as "Irma Gobb", and also give the name of the other man she actually dances with in Mr. Bean Goes to Town (Giles Gummer).
An additional book called Mr. Bean's Diary was released in 2002 to accompany the animated series; this book was also graded as a children's reader.

[edit] Video releases

[edit] DVD releases

In the United Kingdom (Region 2), episodes of Mr. Bean have been released on a yearly basis by Universal Pictures UK since 2004. The complete collection is now available, including the two feature films and other extras. In the United States (Region 1), the complete series has been available since 2003 on A&E Home Video as "The Whole Bean".
In August 2009 an official YouTube channel was launched featuring content from the live action and animated series.[30]
DVD Name # of episodes Release Date Notes
Mr. Bean: The Whole Bean 14 + 4 (special ep) 29 April 2003 Region 1. Contains all 14 episodes, two Comic Relief sketches and two director's cut sketches.
Volumes
DVD Name # of episodes Release Date Notes
Mr. Bean - Vol 1 3 1 November 2004 3 episodes
Mr. Bean - Vol 2 3 31 October 2005 3 episodes
Mr. Bean - Vol 3 3 13 November 2006 3 episodes
Mr. Bean - Vol 4 3 19 March 2007 3 episodes
Mr. Bean - Vol 5 2 12 November 2007 2 episodes
Mr. Bean - Collection 14 12 November 2007 All 14 TV episodes
Mr. Bean - Christmas Collection 14 + 2 (movies) 12 November 2007 All 14 TV episodes, Mr. Bean's Holiday & Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Mr. Bean - Complete Collection 14 + 26 (cartoon) + 2 (movies) 12 November 2007 All 14 TV episodes, all 26 episodes of the Mr. Bean Animated TV Series, Mr. Bean's Holiday & Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie
Mr. Bean - Ultimate Collection 14 + 9 (cartoon) + 2 (movies) + Director's Cut sketches 16 December 2008 All 14 TV episodes, 9 episodes of the Mr. Bean Animated TV Series, Mr Bean's Holiday & Bean - The Ultimate Disaster Movie and the Director cut sketches.
Mr. Bean - Vol 1 5 17 November 2008 5 episodes
Mr. Bean - Vol 2 5 17 November 2008 5 episodes
Mr. Bean - Vol 3 4 17 November 2008 4 episodes
Mr. Bean - Best Bits
17 November 2008 Highlights
Best of Mr. Bean
DVD Name # of episodes Release Date Notes
The Best of Mr. Bean 7 23 November 1999 NBC Universal
The Best of Mr. Bean 7 29 August 2006 A&E Home Video

[edit] VHS format

VHS Name # of episodes
The Amazing Adventures of Mr. Bean 2
The Exciting Escapades of Mr. Bean 2
The Terrible Tales of Mr. Bean 2
The Merry Mishaps of Mr. Bean 2
The Perilous Pursuits of Mr. Bean 2
Unseen Bean 2
The Final Frolics of Mr. Bean 2
The Best Bits of Mr. Bean Episode clips
The Complete Mr. Bean (Volume 1) 7
The Complete Mr. Bean (Volume 2) 7
Merry Christmas Mr. Bean 1
Mr. Bean - Vol 1 3
Mr. Bean - Vol 2 3

[edit] Mr. Bean in popular culture

The sale of Mr. Bean worldwide has meant that he has permeated popular culture in several countries. Notably, a number of public figures have been compared to the character, usually as an insult. Tony Blair, then-Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was identified by Homer Simpson as "Mr. Bean" when his cartoon form greeted the Simpsons to the United Kingdom in an episode of the eponymous programme, demonstrating the stereotypical view of the British by Americans.[31]
Arthur Batchelor, one of the Royal Navy captives held by Iran during the 2007 Iranian seizure of Royal Navy personnel, has stated that some of his captors had mocked him calling him "Mr. Bean".[32] NRL Referee Sean Hampstead is regularly nicknamed "Mr. Bean" in nationally broadcast commentary by Australian television/radio personality Ray Warren as a result of his similar appearance. In 2007, Vincent Cable, the acting leader of the Liberal Democrats described the recent decline in Prime Minister Gordon Brown's fortunes as his "remarkable transformation in the last few weeks from Stalin to Mr. Bean".[33] The Spanish Prime Minister JosƩ Luis Rodrƭguez Zapatero is often mocked in his own country for his facial resemblance to Mr Bean, and a computer hacker broke into Spain's official website for its presidency of the European Union, inserting the character on the front page of the website. Satirists have also compared Zapatero to Mr Bean when discussing government policies that are deemed to have been unsuccessful.[34]
Several of the visual jokes in the series have been used as experiments on the Discovery Channel's MythBusters series. In episode 52 - "Mind Control", the idea of painting a room with a stick of explosives (Firework, or other) placed in a paint can, as in the episode "Do-It-Yourself, Mr. Bean", was tested and deemed impossible, as adequate coverage was not achieved.[35]


Resource http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Bean

Comet

Comet

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Comet Hale-Bopp, as seen on 29 March 1997 in Pazin, Croatia.
A comet is an icy small Solar System body that, when close enough to the Sun, displays a visible coma (a thin, fuzzy, temporary atmosphere) and sometimes also a tail. These phenomena are both due to the effects of solar radiation and the solar wind upon the nucleus of the comet. Comet nuclei are themselves loose collections of ice, dust, and small rocky particles, ranging from a few hundred meters to tens of kilometers across. Comets have been observed since ancient times and have historically been considered bad omens.
Comets have a wide range of orbital periods, ranging from a few years to hundreds of thousands of years. Short-period comets originate in the Kuiper Belt, or its associated scattered disc,[1] which lie beyond the orbit of Neptune. Longer-period comets are thought to originate in the Oort Cloud, a spherical cloud of icy bodies in the outer Solar System. Long-period comets plunge towards the Sun from the Oort Cloud because of gravitational perturbations caused by either the massive outer planets of the Solar System (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune), or passing stars. Rare hyperbolic comets pass once through the inner Solar System before being thrown out into interstellar space along hyperbolic trajectories.
Comets are distinguished from asteroids by the presence of a coma or a tail. However, extinct comets that have passed close to the Sun many times have lost nearly all of their volatile ices and dust and may come to resemble small asteroids.[2] Asteroids are thought to have a different origin from comets, having formed inside the orbit of Jupiter rather than in the outer Solar System.[3][4] These have somewhat blurred the distinction between asteroids and comets (see centaurs and asteroid terminology).
As of May 2010 there are a reported 3,976 known comets[5] of which about 1,500 are Kreutz Sungrazers and about 484 are short-period.[6] This number is steadily increasing. However, this represents only a tiny fraction of the total potential comet population: the reservoir of comet-like bodies in the outer solar system may number one trillion.[7] The number visible to the naked eye averages roughly one per year, though many of these are faint and unspectacular.[8] Particularly bright or notable examples are called "Great Comets".


[edit] Etymology

The word comet came to English by way of the Latin word cometes. This word, in turn, came from the Greek word ĪŗĻŒĪ¼Ī·, which means "hair of the head". The Greek scientist and philosopher Aristotle first used the derived form of ĪŗĻŒĪ¼Ī·, ĪŗĪæĪ¼Ī®Ļ„Ī·Ļ‚, to describe what he saw as "stars with hair." The astronomical symbol for comets is (), consisting of a small disc with three hairlike extensions.

[edit] Physical characteristics

[edit] Nucleus


Nucleus of comet Tempel 1 imaged by the Deep Impact impactor. The nucleus measures about 6 kilometres across.

Comet Holmes (17P/Holmes) in 2007 showing blue ion tail on right
Comet nuclei are known to range from about 100 meters to more than 40 kilometres across. They are composed of rock, dust, water ice, and frozen gases such as carbon monoxide, carbon dioxide, methane and ammonia.[9] Because of their low mass, comet nuclei do not become spherical under their own gravity, and thus have irregular shapes. Officially, according to NASA guidelines, a comet has to be at least 85% ice in order to be considered an actual comet.
They are often popularly described as "dirty snowballs", though recent observations have revealed dry dusty or rocky surfaces, suggesting that the ices are hidden beneath the crust. Comets also contain a variety of organic compounds; in addition to the gases already mentioned, these may include methanol, hydrogen cyanide, formaldehyde, ethanol and ethane, and perhaps more complex molecules such as long-chain hydrocarbons and amino acids.[10][11][12] In 2009, it was confirmed that the amino acid glycine had been found in the comet dust recovered by NASA's Stardust mission.[13]
Surprisingly, cometary nuclei are among the least reflective objects found in our solar system. The Giotto space probe found that the nucleus of Halley's Comet reflects about four percent of the light that falls on it,[14] and Deep Space 1 discovered that Comet Borrelly's surface reflects just 2.4% to 3.0% of the light that falls on it;[14] by comparison, asphalt reflects seven percent of the light that falls on it. It is thought that complex organic compounds are the dark surface material. Solar heating drives off volatile compounds leaving behind heavy long-chain organics[clarification needed] that tend to be very dark, like tar or crude oil. The very darkness of cometary surfaces enables them to absorb the heat necessary to drive their outgassing processes.

[edit] Coma and tail

In the outer solar system, comets remain frozen and are extremely difficult or impossible to detect from Earth due to their small size. Statistical detections of inactive comet nuclei in the Kuiper belt have been reported from the Hubble Space Telescope observations,[15][16] but these detections have been questioned,[17][18] and have not yet been independently confirmed. As a comet approaches the inner solar system, solar radiation causes the volatile materials within the comet to vaporize and stream out of the nucleus, carrying dust away with them. The streams of dust and gas thus released form a huge, extremely tenuous atmosphere around the comet called the coma, and the force exerted on the coma by the Sun's radiation pressure and solar wind cause an enormous tail to form, which points away from the sun.
Both the coma and tail are illuminated by the Sun and may become visible from Earth when a comet passes through the inner solar system, the dust reflecting sunlight directly and the gases glowing from ionisation. Most comets are too faint to be visible without the aid of a telescope, but a few each decade become bright enough to be visible to the naked eye. Occasionally a comet may experience a huge and sudden outburst of gas and dust, during which the size of the coma temporarily greatly increases in size. This happened in 2007 to Comet Holmes.[citation needed]
The streams of dust and gas each form their own distinct tail, pointing in slightly different directions. The tail of dust is left behind in the comet's orbit in such a manner that it often forms a curved[citation needed] tail called the type II or dust tail. At the same time, the ion or type I tail, made of gases, always points directly away from the Sun, as this gas is more strongly affected by the solar wind than is dust, following magnetic field lines rather than an orbital trajectory. On occasions a short tail pointing in the opposite direction to the ion and dust tails may be seen – the antitail. These were once thought to be somewhat mysterious, but are merely the end of the dust tail apparently projecting ahead of the comet due to our viewing angle.[19]
While the solid nucleus of comets is generally less than 50 km (31 mi) across, the coma may be larger than the Sun, and ion tails have been observed to extend one astronomical unit (150 million km) or more.[9] The observation of antitails contributed significantly to the discovery of solar wind.[20] The ion tail is formed as a result of the photoelectric effect[dubious ] of solar ultra-violet radiation acting on particles in the coma. Once the particles have been ionized, they attain a net positive electrical charge which in turn gives rise to an "induced magnetosphere" around the comet. The comet and its induced magnetic field form an obstacle to outward flowing solar wind particles. As the relative orbital speed of the comet and the solar wind is supersonic, a bow shock is formed upstream of the comet, in the flow direction of the solar wind. In this bow shock, large concentrations of cometary ions (called "pick-up ions") congregate and act to "load" the solar magnetic field with plasma, such that the field lines "drape" around the comet forming the ion tail.[21]
Encke tail rip off.ogg
Encke's Comet loses its tail
If the ion tail loading is sufficient, then the magnetic field lines are squeezed together to the point where, at some distance along the ion tail, magnetic reconnection occurs. This leads to a "tail disconnection event".[21] This has been observed on a number of occasions, one notable event recorded on April 20, 2007, when the ion tail of Encke's Comet was completely severed while the comet passed through a coronal mass ejection. This event was observed by the STEREO space probe.[22]
Comets were found to emit X-rays in 1996.[23] This surprised researchers, because X-ray emission is usually associated with very high-temperature bodies. The X-rays are thought to be generated by the interaction between comets and the solar wind: when highly charged ions fly through a cometary atmosphere, they collide with cometary atoms and molecules, "ripping off" one or more electrons from the comet. This ripping off leads to the emission of X-rays and far ultraviolet photons.[24]

[edit] Connection to meteor showers

As a result of outgassing, comets leave a trail of solid debris. If the comet's path crosses Earth's path, then at that point there will likely be meteor showers as Earth passes through the trail of debris. The Perseid meteor shower occurs every year between August 9 and August 13, when Earth passes through the orbit of the Swift–Tuttle comet.[25] Halley's comet is the source of the Orionid shower in October.[25]

[edit] Orbital characteristics


Orbits of the Kohoutek Comet (red) and the Earth (blue), illustrating the high eccentricity of its orbit and its rapid motion when close to the Sun.

Histogram of the aphelia of the 2005 comets, showing the giant planet comet families. The abscissa is the natural logarithm of the aphelion expressed in AUs.
Most comets have elongated elliptical orbits that take them close to the Sun for a part of their orbit, and then out into the further reaches of the Solar System for the remainder. Comets are often classified according to the length of their orbital periods: the longer the period the more elongated the ellipse.
  • Short-period comets are generally defined as having orbital periods of less than 200 years. They usually orbit more-or-less in the ecliptic plane in the same direction as the planets. Their orbits typically take them out to the region of the outer planets (Jupiter and beyond) at aphelion; for example, the aphelion of Halley's Comet is a little beyond the orbit of Neptune. At the shorter extreme, Encke's Comet has an orbit which never puts it farther away from the Sun than Jupiter. Short-period comets are further divided into the Jupiter family (periods less than 20 years) and Halley family (periods between 20 and 200 years).
  • Long-period comets have highly eccentric orbits and periods ranging from 200 years to thousands or even millions of years. (However, by definition they remain gravitationally bound to the Sun; those comets that are ejected from the solar system due to close passes by major planets are no longer properly considered as having "periods".) Their orbits take them far beyond the outer planets at aphelia, and the plane of their orbits need not lie near the ecliptic.
  • Single-apparition comets are similar to long-period comets, but have parabolic or slightly hyperbolic trajectories[26] when in the inner Solar System. However, gravitational perturbations from giant planets cause their orbits to change, and when in the outer Solar System their orbits are highly eccentric and elliptical with aphelia lying beyond the Oort Cloud. (See C/2007 N3 (Lulin) as an example.)[citation needed] The Sun's hill sphere has an unstable maximum boundary of 230,000 AU (1.1 parsecs (3.6 light-years)).[27] All comets with parabolic and slightly hyperbolic orbits belong to the Solar System and had certain orbital periods, generally hundreds of thousand, or millions of years before being perturbed onto an ejection trajectory.[citation needed][contradiction] Only a few hundred comets have been seen to achieve a genuine hyperbolic orbit[citation needed] that using celestial mechanics suggests they will escape the Solar System. No comets with an eccentricity significantly greater than one have been observed,[citation needed] so there are no confirmed observations of comets that likely did not originate in the Solar System. As of a 2010 epoch, Comet C/1980 E1 has the largest eccentricity of any known hyperbolic comet with an eccentricity of 1.057.[28]
  • Some authorities use the term periodic comet to refer to any comet with a periodic orbit (that is, all short-period comets plus all long-period comets),[29] while others use it to mean exclusively short-period comets.[26] Similarly, although the literal meaning of non-periodic comet is the same as "single-apparition comet", some use it to mean all comets that are not "periodic" in the second sense (that is, to also include all comets with a period greater than 200 years).
  • Recently discovered main-belt comets form a distinct class, orbiting in more circular orbits within the asteroid belt.[30][31]
Based on their orbital characteristics, short-period comets are thought to originate from the centaurs and the Kuiper belt/scattered disk[1]—a disk of objects in the transneptunian region—whereas the source of long-period comets is thought to be the far more distant spherical Oort cloud (after the Dutch astronomer Jan Hendrik Oort who hypothesised its existence).[32] Vast swarms of comet-like bodies are believed to orbit the Sun in these distant regions in roughly circular orbits. Occasionally the gravitational influence of the outer planets (in the case of Kuiper Belt objects) or nearby stars (in the case of Oort cloud objects) may throw one of these bodies into an elliptical orbit that takes it inwards towards the Sun, to form a visible comet. Unlike the return of periodic comets whose orbits have been established by previous observations, the appearance of new comets by this mechanism is unpredictable.
Since their elliptical orbits frequently take them close to the giant planets, comets are subject to further gravitational perturbations. Short period comets display a tendency for their aphelia to coincide with a giant planet's orbital radius, with the Jupiter family of comets being the largest, as the histogram shows. It is clear that comets coming in from the Oort cloud often have their orbits strongly influenced by the gravity of giant planets as a result of a close encounter. Jupiter is the source of the greatest perturbations, being more than twice as massive as all the other planets combined, in addition to being the swiftest of the giant planets. These perturbations probably sometimes deflect long-period comets into shorter orbital periods, with Halley's Comet being a possible example of this.
Early observations have revealed a few genuinely hyperbolic (i.e. non-periodic) trajectories, but no more than could be accounted for by perturbations from Jupiter. If comets pervaded interstellar space, they would be moving with velocities of the same order as the relative velocities of stars near the Sun (a few tens of kilometres per second). If such objects entered the solar system, they would have positive total energies, and would be observed to have genuinely hyperbolic trajectories. A rough calculation shows that there might be four hyperbolic comets per century,[33] within Jupiter's orbit, give or take one and perhaps two orders of magnitude.[citation needed]
A number of periodic comets discovered in earlier decades or previous centuries are now "lost." Their orbits were never known well enough to predict future appearances. However, occasionally a "new" comet will be discovered and upon calculation of its orbit it turns out to be an old "lost" comet. An example is Comet 11P/Tempel-Swift-LINEAR, discovered in 1869 but unobservable after 1908 because of perturbations by Jupiter. It was not found again until accidentally rediscovered by LINEAR in 2001.[34]

[edit] Fate of comets

[edit] Departure/ejection from Solar System

If a comet is traveling fast enough, it may leave the Solar System; such is the case for Hyperbolic comets. To date, comets are only known to be ejected by interacting with another object in the solar system (see Perturbation), such as Jupiter.

Material coming off Component B of 73P/Schwassmann-Wachmann which broke up starting in 1995, as seen by the HST. This animation covers a span of three days.

[edit] Volatiles exhausted

Jupiter family comets (JFC) and long period comets (LPC) (see "Orbital characteristics", above) appear to follow very different fading laws. The JFCs are active over a lifetime of about 10,000 years or ~1,000 revolutions while the LPCs disappear much faster. Only 10% of the LPCs survive more than 50 passages to small perihelion, while only 1% of them survive more than 2,000 passages.[35] Eventually most of the volatile material contained in a comet nucleus evaporates away, and the comet becomes a small, dark, inert lump of rock or rubble that can resemble an asteroid.[36]

[edit] Breakup/disintegration

Comets are also known to break up into fragments, as happened with Comet 73P/Schwassmann-Wachmann 3 starting in 1995.[37]
This breakup may be triggered by tidal gravitational forces from the Sun or a large planet, by an "explosion" of volatile material, or for other reasons not fully explained.

[edit] Collisions


Brown spots mark impact sites of the Shoemaker-Levy Comet on Jupiter's southern hemisphere.
Some comets meet a more spectacular end—either falling into the Sun,[38] or smashing into a planet or other body. Collisions between comets and planets or moons were common in the early Solar System: some of the many craters on the Earth's Moon, for example, may have been caused by comets. A recent collision of a comet with a planet occurred in July 1994 when Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 broke up into pieces and collided with Jupiter.
Many comets and asteroids collided into Earth in its early stages. Many scientists believe that comets bombarding the young Earth (about 4 billion years ago) brought the vast quantities of water that now fill the Earth's oceans, or at least a significant proportion of it. Other researchers have cast doubt on this theory.[39] The detection of organic molecules in comets has led some to speculate that comets or meteorites may have brought the precursors of life—or even life itself—to Earth.[11] There are still many near-Earth comets, although a collision with an asteroid is more likely than with a comet.
It is suspected that comet impacts have, over long timescales, also delivered significant quantities of water to the Earth's Moon, some of which may have survived as lunar ice.
Comet and meteoroid impacts are believed to be responsible for the existence of tektites and australites.

[edit] Nomenclature

The names given to comets have followed several different conventions over the past two centuries. Before any systematic naming convention was adopted, comets were named in a variety of ways. Prior to the early 20th century, most comets were simply referred to by the year in which they appeared, sometimes with additional adjectives for particularly bright comets; thus, the "Great Comet of 1680" (Kirch's Comet), the "Great September Comet of 1882", and the "Daylight Comet of 1910" ("Great January Comet of 1910").

Halley's Comet, named after the astronomer Edmund Halley for successfully calculating its orbit
After Edmund Halley demonstrated that the comets of 1531, 1607, and 1682 were the same body and successfully predicted its return in 1759, that comet became known as Halley's Comet.[40] Similarly, the second and third known periodic comets, Encke's Comet[41] and Biela's Comet,[42] were named after the astronomers who calculated their orbits rather than their original discoverers. Later, periodic comets were usually named after their discoverers, but comets that had appeared only once continued to be referred to by the year of their apparition.
In the early 20th century, the convention of naming comets after their discoverers became common, and this remains so today. A comet is named after up to three independent discoverers. In recent years, many comets have been discovered by instruments operated by large teams of astronomers, and in this case, comets may be named for the instrument. For example, Comet IRAS-Araki-Alcock was discovered independently by the IRAS satellite and amateur astronomers Genichi Araki and George Alcock. In the past, when multiple comets were discovered by the same individual, group of individuals, or team, the comets' names were distinguished by adding a numeral to the discoverers' names (but only for periodic comets); thus Comets Shoemaker-Levy 19. Today, the large numbers of comets discovered by some instruments has caused this system to be impractical, and no attempt is made to ensure that each comet is given a unique name. Instead, the comets' systematic designations are used to avoid confusion.
Until 1994, comets were first given a provisional designation consisting of the year of their discovery followed by a lowercase letter indicating its order of discovery in that year (for example, Comet 1969i (Bennett) was the 9th comet discovered in 1969). Once the comet had been observed through perihelion and its orbit had been established, the comet was given a permanent designation of the year of its perihelion, followed by a Roman numeral indicating its order of perihelion passage in that year, so that Comet 1969i became Comet 1970 II (it was the second comet to pass perihelion in 1970)[43]
Increasing numbers of comet discoveries made this procedure awkward, and in 1994 the International Astronomical Union approved a new naming system. Comets are now designated by the year of their discovery followed by a letter indicating the half-month of the discovery and a number indicating the order of discovery (a system similar to that already used for asteroids), so that the fourth comet discovered in the second half of February 2006, for example, would be designated 2006 D4. Prefixes are also added to indicate the nature of the comet:
  • P/ indicates a periodic comet (defined for these purposes as any comet with an orbital period of less than 200 years or confirmed observations at more than one perihelion passage);
  • C/ indicates a non-periodic comet (defined as any comet that is not periodic according to the preceding definition);
  • X/ indicates a comet for which no reliable orbit could be calculated (generally, historical comets);
  • D/ indicates a comet which has broken up or been lost, referred to as dark comet;[44]
  • A/ indicates an object that was mistakenly identified as a comet, but is actually a minor planet.
For example, Comet Hale-Bopp's designation is C/1995 O1. After their second observed perihelion passage, periodic comets are also assigned a number indicating the order of their discovery.[45] So Halley's Comet, the first comet to be identified as periodic, has the systematic designation 1P/1682 Q1. Comets which first received a minor planet designation keep the latter, which leads to some odd names such as P/2004 EW38 (Catalina-LINEAR).
There are only five bodies in our Solar System that are cross-listed as both comets and asteroids: 2060 Chiron (95P/Chiron), 4015 Wilson-Harrington (107P/Wilson-Harrington), 7968 Elst-Pizarro (133P/Elst-Pizarro), 60558 Echeclus (174P/Echeclus), and 118401 LINEAR (176P/LINEAR).

[edit] History of study

[edit] Early observations and thought


Halley's Comet depicted on the Bayeux Tapestry which shows King Harold I being told of Halley's Comet before the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
Before the invention of the telescope, comets seemed to appear out of nowhere in the sky and gradually vanish out of sight. They were usually considered bad omens of deaths of kings or noble men, or coming catastrophes, or even interpreted as attacks by heavenly beings against terrestrial inhabitants.[46] From ancient sources, such as Chinese oracle bones, it is known that their appearances have been noticed by humans for millennia. Some authorities interpret references to "falling stars" in Gilgamesh, the Book of Revelation, and the Book of Enoch as references to comets, or possibly bolides. One very famous old recording of a comet is the appearance of Halley's Comet on the Bayeux Tapestry, which records the Norman conquest of England in AD 1066.[47]
In the first book of his Meteorology, Aristotle propounded the view of comets that would hold sway in Western thought for nearly two thousand years. He rejected the ideas of several earlier philosophers that comets were planets, or at least a phenomenon related to the planets, on the grounds that while the planets confined their motion to the circle of the Zodiac, comets could appear in any part of the sky.[48] Instead, he described comets as a phenomenon of the upper atmosphere, where hot, dry exhalations gathered and occasionally burst into flame. Aristotle held this mechanism responsible for not only comets, but also meteors, the aurora borealis, and even the Milky Way.[49]
A few later classical philosophers did dispute this view of comets. Seneca the Younger, in his Natural Questions, observed that comets moved regularly through the sky and were undisturbed by the wind, behavior more typical of celestial than atmospheric phenomena. While he conceded that the other planets do not appear outside the Zodiac, he saw no reason that a planet-like object could not move through any part of the sky, humanity's knowledge of celestial things being very limited.[50] However, the Aristotelian viewpoint proved more influential, and it was not until the 16th century that it was demonstrated that comets must exist outside the Earth's atmosphere.
In 1577, a bright comet was visible for several months. The Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe used measurements of the comet's position taken by himself and other, geographically separated, observers to determine that the comet had no measurable parallax. Within the precision of the measurements, this implied the comet must be at least four times more distant from the earth than the moon.[51]

[edit] Orbital studies


The orbit of the comet of 1680, fit to a parabola, as shown in Isaac Newton's Principia
Although comets had now been demonstrated to be in the heavens, the question of how they moved through the heavens would be debated for most of the next century. Even after Johannes Kepler had determined in 1609 that the planets moved about the sun in elliptical orbits, he was reluctant to believe that the laws that governed the motions of the planets should also influence the motion of other bodies—he believed that comets travel among the planets along straight lines. Galileo Galilei, although a staunch Copernicanist, rejected Tycho's parallax measurements and held to the Aristotelian notion of comets moving on straight lines through the upper atmosphere.[citation needed]
The first suggestion that Kepler's laws of planetary motion should also apply to the comets was made by William Lower in 1610.[51] In the following decades other astronomers, including Pierre Petit, Giovanni Borelli, Adrien Auzout, Robert Hooke, Johann Baptist Cysat, and Giovanni Domenico Cassini all argued for comets curving about the sun on elliptical or parabolic paths, while others, such as Christian Huygens and Johannes Hevelius, supported comets' linear motion.[citation needed]
The matter was resolved by the bright comet that was discovered by Gottfried Kirch on November 14, 1680. Astronomers throughout Europe tracked its position for several months. In 1681, the Saxon pastor Georg Samuel Doerfel set forth his proofs that comets are heavenly bodies moving in parabolas of which the sun is the focus. Then Isaac Newton, in his Principia Mathematica of 1687, proved that an object moving under the influence of his inverse square law of universal gravitation must trace out an orbit shaped like one of the conic sections, and he demonstrated how to fit a comet's path through the sky to a parabolic orbit, using the comet of 1680 as an example.[52]
In 1705, Edmond Halley applied Newton's method to twenty-three cometary apparitions that had occurred between 1337 and 1698. He noted that three of these, the comets of 1531, 1607, and 1682, had very similar orbital elements, and he was further able to account for the slight differences in their orbits in terms of gravitational perturbation by Jupiter and Saturn. Confident that these three apparitions had been three appearances of the same comet, he predicted that it would appear again in 1758–9.[53] (Earlier, Robert Hooke had identified the comet of 1664 with that of 1618,[54] while Giovanni Domenico Cassini had suspected the identity of the comets of 1577, 1665, and 1680.[55] Both were incorrect.) Halley's predicted return date was later refined by a team of three French mathematicians: Alexis Clairaut, Joseph Lalande, and Nicole-Reine Lepaute, who predicted the date of the comet's 1759 perihelion to within one month's accuracy.[56] When the comet returned as predicted, it became known as Halley's Comet (with the latter-day designation of 1P/Halley). Its next appearance will be in 2061. See the book 2061: Odyssey Three by Sir Arthur C. Clarke.
Among the comets with short enough periods to have been observed several times in the historical record, Halley's Comet is a unique one in that it is consistently bright enough to be visible to the naked eye while passing through the inner Solar System. Since the confirmation of the periodicity of Halley's Comet, quite a few other periodic comets have been discovered through the use of the telescope. The second comet found to have a periodic orbit was Encke's Comet (with the official designation of 2P/Encke). During the period 1819–21 the German mathematician and physicist Johann Franz Encke computed the orbits for a series of comets that had been observed in 1786, 1795, 1805, and 1818, and he concluded that they were same comet, and successfully predicted its return in 1822.[41] By 1900, seventeen comets had been observed through more than one passage through their perihelions, and then recognized as being periodic comets. As of April 2006, 175 comets have achieved this distinction, though several of these seem to have been destroyed or lost.

[edit] Studies of physical characteristics

Isaac Newton described comets as compact and durable solid bodies moving in oblique orbits, and their tails as thin streams of vapor emitted by their nuclei, ignited or heated by the sun. Newton suspected that comets were the origin of the life-supporting component of air. Newton also believed that the vapors given off by comets might replenish the planets' supplies of water (which was gradually being converted into soil by the growth and decay of plants), and the sun's supply of fuel.[citation needed]
From his huge vapouring train perhaps to shake
Reviving moisture on the numerous orbs,
Thro' which his long ellipsis winds; perhaps
To lend new fuel to declining suns,
To light up worlds, and feed th' ethereal fire."
James Thomson, "The Seasons" (1730; 1748)
As early as the 18th century, some scientists had made correct hypotheses as to comets' physical composition. In 1755, Immanuel Kant hypothesized that comets are composed of some volatile substance, whose vaporization gives rise to their brilliant displays near perihelion.[57] In 1836, the German mathematician Friedrich Wilhelm Bessel, after observing streams of vapor during the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, proposed that the jet forces of evaporating material could be great enough to significantly alter a comet's orbit, and he argued that the non-gravitational movements of Encke's Comet resulted from this phenomenon.[58]
However, another comet-related discovery overshadowed these ideas for nearly a century. Over the period 1864–1866 the Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli computed the orbit of the Perseid meteors, and based on orbital similarities, correctly hypothesized that the Perseids were fragments of Comet Swift-Tuttle. The link between comets and meteor showers was dramatically underscored when in 1872, a major meteor shower occurred from the orbit of Comet Biela, which had been observed to split into two pieces during its 1846 apparition, and was never seen again after 1852.[42] A "gravel bank" model of comet structure arose, according to which comets consist of loose piles of small rocky objects, coated with an icy layer.
By the middle of the twentieth century, this model suffered from a number of shortcomings: in particular, it failed to explain how a body that contained only a little ice could continue to put on a brilliant display of evaporating vapor after several perihelion passages. In 1950, Fred Lawrence Whipple proposed that rather than being rocky objects containing some ice, comets were icy objects containing some dust and rock.[59] This "dirty snowball" model soon became accepted and appeared to be supported by the observations of an armada of spacecraft (including the European Space Agency's Giotto probe and the Soviet Union's Vega 1 and Vega 2) that flew through the coma of Halley's Comet in 1986, photographed the nucleus, and observed jets of evaporating material.

[edit] Recent findings


Comet Borrelly exhibits jets, yet is hot and dry.
Debate continues about how much ice is in a comet. In 2001, NASA's Deep Space 1 team, working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Lab, obtained high-resolution images of the surface of Comet Borrelly. They announced that comet Borrelly exhibits distinct jets, yet has a hot, dry surface. The assumption that comets contain water and other ices led Dr. Laurence Soderblom of the U.S. Geological Survey to say, "The spectrum suggests that the surface is hot and dry. It is surprising that we saw no traces of water ice." However, he goes on to suggest that the ice is probably hidden below the crust as "either the surface has been dried out by solar heating and maturation or perhaps the very dark soot-like material that covers Borrelly's surface masks any trace of surface ice".[60]
In July 2005, the Deep Impact probe blasted a crater on Comet Tempel 1 to study its interior. The mission yielded results suggesting that the majority of a comet's water ice is below the surface, and that these reservoirs feed the jets of vaporised water that form the coma of Tempel 1.[61]

Comet Wild 2 exhibits jets on light side and dark side, stark relief, and is dry.
The Stardust spacecraft, launched in February 1999, collected particles from the coma of Comet Wild 2 in January 2004, and returned the samples to Earth in a capsule in January 2006. Claudia Alexander, a program scientist for Rosetta from NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory who has modeled comets for years, reported to space.com about her astonishment at the number of jets, their appearance on the dark side of the comet as well as on the light side, their ability to lift large chunks of rock from the surface of the comet and the fact that comet Wild 2 is not a loosely cemented rubble pile.[62]
More recent data from the Stardust mission show that materials retrieved from the tail of Wild 2 were crystalline and could only have been "born in fire."[63][64] Although comets formed in the outer Solar System, radial mixing of material during the early formation of the Solar System is thought to have redistributed material throughout the proto-planetary disk,[65] so comets also contain crystalline grains which were formed in the hot inner Solar System. This is seen in comet spectra as well as in sample return missions. More recent still, the materials retrieved demonstrate that the "comet dust resembles asteroid materials."[66] These new results have forced scientists to rethink the nature of comets and their distinction from asteroids.[67]
Forthcoming space missions will add greater detail to our understanding of what comets are made of. The European Rosetta probe is presently en route to Comet Churyumov-Gerasimenko; in 2014 it will go into orbit around the comet and place a small lander on its surface.

[edit] Notable comets

[edit] Great comets


Comet McNaught (C/2006 P1)
While hundreds of tiny comets pass through the inner solar system every year, very few are noticed by the general public. About every decade or so, a comet will become bright enough to be noticed by a casual observer—such comets are often designated Great Comets. In times past, bright comets often inspired panic and hysteria in the general population, being thought of as bad omens. More recently, during the passage of Halley's Comet in 1910, the Earth passed through the comet's tail, and erroneous newspaper reports inspired a fear that cyanogen in the tail might poison millions,[68] while the appearance of Comet Hale-Bopp in 1997 triggered the mass suicide of the Heaven's Gate cult. To most people, however, a great comet is simply a beautiful spectacle.
Predicting whether a comet will become a great comet is notoriously difficult, as many factors may cause a comet's brightness to depart drastically from predictions. Broadly speaking, if a comet has a large and active nucleus, will pass close to the Sun, and is not obscured by the Sun as seen from the Earth when at its brightest, it will have a chance of becoming a great comet. However, Comet Kohoutek in 1973 fulfilled all the criteria and was expected to become spectacular, but failed to do so. Comet West, which appeared three years later, had much lower expectations (perhaps because scientists were much warier of glowing predictions after the Kohoutek fiasco), but became an extremely impressive comet.[69]
The late 20th century saw a lengthy gap without the appearance of any great comets, followed by the arrival of two in quick succession—Comet Hyakutake in 1996, followed by Hale-Bopp, which reached maximum brightness in 1997 having been discovered two years earlier. The first great comet of the 21st century was Comet McNaught, which became visible to naked eye observers in January 2007. It was the brightest in over 40 years.

[edit] Sungrazing comets


The Great Comet of 1882, is a member of the Kreutz group
A Sungrazing comet is a comet that passes extremely close to the Sun at perihelion, sometimes within a few thousand kilometres of the Sun's surface. While small sungrazers can be completely evaporated during such a close approach to the Sun, larger sungrazers can survive many perihelion passages. However, the strong tidal forces they experience often lead to their fragmentation.
About 90% of the sungrazers observed with SOHO are members of the Kreutz group, which all originate from one giant comet that broke up into many smaller comets during its first passage through the inner solar system.[70] The other 10% contains some sporadic sungrazers, but four other related groups of comets have been identified among them: the Kracht, Kracht 2a, Marsden and Meyer groups. The Marsden and Kracht groups both appear to be related to Comet 96P/Machholz, which is also the parent of two meteor streams, the Quadrantids and the Arietids.[71]

[edit] Unusual comets


The quasi-circular orbit of 29P/Schwassmann-Wachmann compared to Jupiter and Saturn.
Of the thousands of known comets, some are very unusual. Encke's Comet orbits from outside the main asteroid belt to just inside the orbit of the planet Mercury while the Comet 29P/Schwassmann-Wachmann currently travels in a nearly circular orbit entirely between the orbits of Jupiter and Saturn.[72] 2060 Chiron, whose unstable orbit is between Saturn and Uranus, was originally classified as an asteroid until a faint coma was noticed.[73] Similarly, Comet Shoemaker-Levy 2 was originally designated asteroid 1990 UL3.[74] Roughly six percent of the near-earth asteroids are thought to be extinct nuclei of comets which no longer experience outgassing.[35]
Some comets have been observed to break up during their perihelion passage, including great comets West and Ikeya-Seki. Biela's Comet was one significant example, when it broke into two pieces during its passage through the perihelion in 1846. These two comets were seen separately in 1852, but never again afterward. Instead, spectacular meteor showers were seen in 1872 and 1885 when the comet should have been visible. A lesser meteor shower, the Andromedids, occurs annually in November, and it is caused when the Earth crosses the orbit of Biela's Comet.[75]
Another significant cometary disruption was that of Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9, which was discovered in 1993. At the time of its discovery, the comet was in orbit around Jupiter, having been captured by the planet during a very close approach in 1992.[76] This close approach had already broken the comet into hundreds of pieces, and over a period of six days in July 1994, these pieces slammed into Jupiter's atmosphere—the first time astronomers had observed a collision between two objects in the solar system.[77] It has also been suggested that the object likely to have been responsible for the Tunguska event in 1908 was a fragment of Encke's Comet.[78]

[edit] Observation


Example of a comet's path plotted by planetarium software (Sky Map Pro)
A new comet may be discovered photographically using a wide-field telescope or visually with binoculars. However, even without access to optical equipment, it is still possible for the amateur astronomer to discover a Sun-grazing comet online by downloading images accumulated by some satellite observatories such as SOHO.[79]
Comets visible to the naked eye are fairly infrequent, but comets that put on fine displays in amateur class telescopes (50 mm to 100 cm) occur fairly often—as often as several times a year, occasionally with more than one in the sky at the same time. Commonly available astronomical software will plot the orbits of these known comets. They are fast compared to other objects in the sky, but their movement is usually subtle in the eyepiece of a telescope. However, from night to night, they can move several degrees, which is why observers find it useful to have a sky chart such as the one in the adjoining illustration.
The type of display presented by the comet depends on its composition and how close it comes to the sun. Because the volatility of a comet's material decreases as it gets further from the sun, the comet becomes increasingly difficult to observe as a function of not only distance, but the progressive shrinking and eventual disappearance of its tail and the reflective elements it carries. Comets are most interesting when their nucleus is bright and they display a long tail, which to be seen sometimes requires a large field of view best provided by smaller telescopes. Therefore, large amateur instruments (apertures of 25 cm (10 in) or larger) that have fainter light grasp do not necessarily confer an advantage in terms of viewing comets. The opportunity to view spectacular comets with relatively small aperture instruments in the 8 cm (3 in) to 15 cm (6 in) range is more frequent than might be guessed from the relatively rare attention they get in the mainstream press.


Resource http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comet